Election Diary: Five Days Left

This morning I was listening to the radio as I peeled fruit for breakfast when I heard a candidate for Congress being interviewed. For a moment, I felt a little irritated because she was speaking as though the election was still to come and I knew she had already lost.

That’s where my head is today. We’ve voted and for me, it’s over. Of course, it’s not over, consciously, I know that. Unconsciously, I’m done with it. Today, I vacuumed, cooked, exercised and picked up my car. Obviously, the work of the day is still before me. That can’t be all I accomplish today. But it’s like slogging through deep mud trying to get from one end of the day to the other with the shadow of Trump hanging in the air.

The weather is still unseasonably warm and dry. I’m working on getting the little house ready. Loathe to leave the loft but we need to be realistic. I wonder if this is how my husband’’s grandmother felt as she was getting ready to flee Ukraine? It doesn’t seem realistic. It feels like we’re overreacting.

Still, the deep, pervasive sadness I’m feeling must be coming from somewhere. This election is serious. If Trump gets in, the Commonwealth nations will sever security connections with us. I’m sure the EU will too. One of the things that I disliked about living in Canada was the sense of isolation. If the US becomes an isolated island of Trumpian Americana floating alone in the world, even if it’s safe for us, I do not think I can stay here.

I spend too much time looking at real estate elsewhere. Japan, England, even Canada. I don’t want to go back and I think it will be nearly impossible to get my husband to leave but if this country becomes a Trump Fiefdom, I just don’t think we can stay.

I wish it was Wednesday.